There's this guy who lives, or at least operates, from a scruffy caravan parked right next to the
Père Lachaise metro station just across from the cemetery.
And what's really amazing, is that from this humble abode he can help you with family problems, heartaches and relationships, not forgetting sexual issues mind you.
He's called
Altiz, and his amazing powers don't stop at the affective. According to the panel, he can also address questions of work, studies, housing, business, and... 'diverse subjects, etc.'. Impressive.
He also wears a turban thing on his head.
As detailed in his blurb,
Altiz comes from a long line of card-readers hailing from the tradition of the travelling folks, and he is, in fact, the great grandson of a certain
Madame Jeanne, who was apparently a famous, and deliciously-titled 'Diseuse de Bonne Aventure', or fortune-teller, from the fairgrounds of the early 20th century.
Altiz uses various methods to call on the otherworldly inspiration which feeds his divinations, including Tarot cards, pendulums and the 'Dark Sciences', which include other mysterious techniques such as candle-burning, palm-reading, crystal balls and special stones of power, and, of course, the planets and their subtle influences on our comportment.
It all sounds a bit complicated if you ask me, but luckily some reassuring explanations are given on
Altiz' site itself.
"Each method can be different depending on the individual and the situation, because each human being is different, and all situations are not the same."
"Whether it's for love, work, projects or any other subjects, the occult sciences can intervene, but everything starts by a belief in this domain."
'So if you actually believe it might work, it might work', seems to be the tacit starting point for a paying consultation. Sounds good to me! And there is a surprising number of apparently intelligent people who really do believe in this tripe. Oops,
sorry, my objectivity just slipped there.
Let me rectify that
tout de suite with this highly empirical description of the functioning of 'the Pendulum', again from
Altiz' website:
"The Pendulum is one of the devinatory arts known as dowsing [the impressive-sounding but spurious 'radiesthésie' in French]
."
"A Pendulum can react differently depending on the practitioner who uses it, because each human being gives off waves in different ways."
"A Pendulum used well is a neutral connection with our thoughts."
"To be certain of the Pendulum's response, you need to test it for a long time, to really know its reaction."
And so it goes on. My firm and honest prediction is that you'll either love or hate this post. Or perhaps feel somewhat indifferent.
How did I do? Are the great Sabiz' soothsayer-like powers reaching you today..? (That'll be €35 please. Next!)
___________________________________________________________________________________
© 2011 Sab Will /
Paris Set Me Free - Contact me directly for photo tours, interviews, exhibitions, etc.
