(This is a satire...)
Here we have, finally unveiled, two female offenders who were forced to publicly 'come out' after having staged an undercover protest on the terrace of famous
Fouquet's on Paris'
Champs Elysées yesterday.
What's all the fuss about? Well they belong to a group who call themselves 'Muslims', and one of the things female members do is cover themselves from head to foot in cloth, leaving just a tiny slit for them to see out of as they go about their daily lives.
This mode of dressing is now illegal in France. These two don't like that so they protested about it by... continuing to wear the aforementioned offending garment.
However, our stalwart defenders of law, order and skintime saw to it that they be revealed... and as we can see here, it really would have been better if they'd kept them on. One can now fully understand the protests coming from both the female and male members of 'the Muslims' given the scary secret they are hiding underneath: they are not quite like the rest of us...
The women were accompanied by a remarkably unveiled 'man', admittedly reasonably normal-looking, who was there, it would seem, to help these women defend their 'fundamental liberty' to hide their hideous deformities and thus protect themselves from the ridicule of their peers and society in general.
A couple of the policemen got a bit over-excited and started stopping motorcyclists and demanding they 'take their lids off' or face the consequences, but the former obviously hadn't read the working instructions for applying the law on a daily basis issued by the French government at the beginning of the week.
These state quite clearly that it's
still OK to hide your face with a motorcycle helmet, medical bandages, a soldering mask, fencing safety equipment (the sword sport, not the barrier construction), and carnival disguises.
Is it just me, or is this all getting just a little silly. Will we soon have female Muslims suddenly all becoming
Allah's Angels in leather biker gear with 'Niqab' and 'Burka' tattooed across their knuckles, or will we see a dramatic increase in membership of dangerous sports clubs and welding unions from Arab factions of the curvier persuasion (not that we'd know)? Or maybe they will simply become avid fans of the performing arts all of a sudden, and feel the need to wear their clown masks on an almost permanent basis to really 'get into' the role.
Let's hope that the surgical bandages option is not one that captures the collective Islamic imagination
[sic] as a potential solution to this eye-wateringly painful problem in any case. Who knows where that could lead. A thousand tacky remakes of 'Revenge of the Mummy', perhaps, starring herds of newly liberated
Sisters of the Cloth, slitted eyes ablaze, clutching a bloody croissant in one hand and their
French Actors Union cards in the other..?
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© 2011 Sab Will /
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