Sunday 4 March 2012

No Go Zone


iPhone Photo Chronicles
~ No Go Zone ~


No Go Zone, originally uploaded by Paris Set Me Free.

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Should I share this with you? Any peer standing I may have had in your eyes could be irrevocably flushed down the toilet, which would be a shame. Nevertheless. Frankness has always been my aim here on Paris & I, so I guess I should really follow my initial idea. Oh dear.

Of a late and loveless, and more to the point looless night on a lonely Paris platform, after a few jars, there's an irresistible urge that comes over a chap, and it's not a very sociable one.

We do have one big advantage (well, I guess that depends on your definition of 'big') over the gals, which is that we can just whip it out and syphon the python in pretty well any dark corner, much to the disgust and perhaps a teeny bit of peeness envy of any member of the fairer sex who happens to be passing by.

Above I'm exceptionally sharing such a shameful place with you, a place that yes, I admit, I have done what it's really best not to admit having done.

As you can see, this unfortunate practice is not unknown to the powers that be. The end result is that the ends of the platforms stink and become a no-go area for a fair number of commuters, thus rendering the middle of the train full while the front and back are woefully underemployed.

To counter this their latest initiative is to set up 'No-Pee Zones', complete with scary black and yellow stripes (y'know, like a bee, sting, ouch, that sort of thing) and highly dissuasive messages plastered underfoot.

Someone also started a rumour that they had actually electrified the metal grills through which certain degenerates had developed the habit of relieving themselves at the end of a well-watered evening.

The spectacular result of this, so the story goes, is that the minute your urine hits the live fence a powerful bolt of several thousand volts zaps up your zeezee and you are instantly electrocuted in the most humiliatingly painful way imaginable.

As no-one (until now) will admit to actually performing such an act, much less to receiving such an embarrassing comeuppance, there are very few eye-witness accounts to rely on, and so the rumour persists. Apparently the campaign has been a great success.



And why not...
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Sab Will / Paris Set Me Free - Contact me directly for photo tours, interviews, exhibitions, etc.

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