Don't Water The Walls

iPhone Photo Chronicles ~ Don't Water The Walls ~

Don't Water The Walls, originally uploaded by Paris Set Me Free.

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American and Australian women diarists in particular, I've noticed, take great pains to point out what they see as a shocking display of base male behaviour: the Parisian's propensity to pee. In fact, they tend to alternate between chapters or entries on human street relief and others on the dangers of canine dejections. If all you had to go on were witty ex-pat wives' tales you'd think we were swimming in an ocean of poop 'n' piss that would turn the Dead Sea brown with envy.

Maybe I'm doing US and Aussie chicks a disservice, and their guys genuinely NEVER drink too much and moisten the odd tree from time to time but, whatever the case, the gals from down under and over the pond are far from impressed.

It's true that you do encounter a lot of crap about Paris, but that's probably just one of the hazards of walking and reading at the same time as I sometimes do.

Whatever the real acuteness of the problem, the Paris town hall are trying to convince us chaps to tie a knot in it until we can find one of their funky little peepods, as I like to call them, which is a) within staggering distance, b) not out of service (after 10pm), c) not occupied, d) equipped with toilet paper, and d) in a useable state.

Now you're probably thinking this us going to degenerate into the type of tired tirade I was lamenting above. Not so. I love these things, and it's surprising how often they actually are perfectly serviceable.

The first generation of these automated cubicles tended to be less pleasant, and as for what came before... Well, gents you can experience that on boulevard Arago just next to the prison if you really want to. I saw Paris' last remaining 'vespasienne' being cleaned last Sunday for the first time in 20 years (that I'd seen it being cleaned), so you never know; it might just be goable.

Anyway, what they're saying is that what looks like a pint costs €2.80 (I'd like to find 'that' bar!), and getting caught watering the walls will set you back €35. Use a 'sanisette' instead. Heck, you might even pick up an admiring Aussie girlfriend into to bargain.

Hmm, 'sanisette', huh? Now I know what they're called at last; what a relief! But I still prefer 'peepod'. Boys will be boys.

J è  GRAB MY 20 AMAZING PARIS CURIOSITIES FREE NOW!  ç J

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